From a Reader: Our Tender Feelings

A blog received from LOTL reader, Mary Ann Vorasky, about Proposition 8, the danger of gender typing and the celebration of same-sex relations within the animal kingdom.

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Earlier this month, Time.com quotes a law professor who specialises in lesbian and gay rights as saying, in referring to the passing of California's Prop 8 that it's never been about marriage. Those who supported Prop 8 in California and similar laws in other states like Arizona and Florida have said that if marriage is not "protected" then legislating morality will one day be completely undone and we will have "full normalisation" of homosexuality. Somehow in our society, love is the greatest threat that must be beaten down at all costs, and violence is glorified as protection and morality. As Homer Simpson once said when a couple was making out in front of his kids, "How dare you expose my children to your tender feelings!"

In certain animal societies, sexual energy functions as a harmonising influence. For example, animal studies have shown that at least 80% of the interactions between male giraffes are classified as "homosexual". Giraffes are highly intelligent. They do not pre-emptively strike in pseudo self-defence, but they do protect themselves if directly threatened. Their hooves are heavy enough that, if attacked by a lion, they can seriously injure the lion by striking out. But they do not strike first; they are not violent creatures. The sexuality freely expressed between males in their species has the ultimate effect of lowering aggression.

And then there are the Bonobo monkeys, whom I recently saw referred to in the media in an article about Lindsay Lohan. When the group gathers together, the female Bonobos have sex with each other, and then the community eats. The Bonobos are not violent creatures, unlike the more sexually regimented Common Chimpanzee. In Bonobo life, the expression of sexual energy between females harmonises the larger group. The Common Chimpanzee and the Bonobos are the closest relatives to humans in the animal kingdom.

In human society, for thousands of years, we have documented our violent history to the point of people simply believing we are a violent species. We have split sexuality in half by making "heterosexuality" right and good, and "homosexuality" wrong and bad. We have strictly encoded gender behaviour to limit how men and women are allowed to express themselves. We elevate the male over the female to such an extent that to this day, in certain countries — and cultures, even in America — parents overwhelmingly choose to abort female children. Human men and women are thus heavily regimented, and violence is its own result in this intensive campaign against humanity and sexuality.

A friend said to me recently: "Are you saying that it's the suppression of gay feelings that causes violence?" It's not just "gay" feelings that are suppressed in gender typing, but loving, tender feelings. Listen to ‘When I Was a Boy’ by Dar Williams:

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, I didn't care who saw.
My neighbor came outside to say "Get your shirt!"
I said "No way! It's the last time, I'm not breaking any law".
And now I'm in a clothing store where the sign says "less is more".
More that's tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me.
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat.
When I was a boy, see that picture that was me,
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees.
And I know things have gotta change, they've got pills to sell
They've got implants to put in, they've got implants to remove.
But I am not forgetting, that I was a boy too.
… So I tell the man I'm with about the other life I lived
And I say "Now you're top gun, I have lost and you have won".
And he says "oh no, can't you see?
When I was a girl, my mom and I, we always talked,
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could cry all the time, now even when I'm alone, I seldom do.
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too,
And you were just like me
And I was just like you.

I say let's fully normalise human sexuality! Let's make the two one. Let's unite that which we have torn asunder. And let's expose each other to our tender feelings. What do we really have to lose?

 

SPOILERS! All about Season 6 of The L Word

* SPOILER ALERT *

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS -SPOILERS- ABOUT SEASON 6 OF THE L WORD! YES, THAT'S RIGHT: SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS.

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The L Word: Fifth season.

Okay, hopefully all those who hate surprises have departed....

With the premiere of season 6 fast approaching, what will happen in The L Word’s last season?

The teaser doing the rounds on YouTube offers very little.

Will Bette and Tina get back together?

Meanwhile, will Alice and Tasha stay together?

What will happen with Shane? Jenny?

Question, questions...

* SPOILER ALERT *

WARNING: BIG, BIG -SPOILERS- BELOW! BEST TO AVOID IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN IN THE DARK.

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The spoilers doing the rounds indicate that - gasp! - Jenny dies. Drowning in Bette's pool. Was it an accident? Was it intentional? It seems Shane might be involved.

If Jenny is found floating in Bette’s pool, what does that say about The L Word? Some fans are lambasting the storyline claiming it plays on tired, old stereotypes of the tragic lesbian meeting her death à la The Children’s Hour. If Shane is to blame for Jenny’s death, you then have the lesbian-turned-murderer stereotype to draw on. It’s raining clichés! Grab an umbrella!

Back when The L Word launched, Chaiken said in an interview for Hollywood networking group POWER UP! that “Jenny, although not me, certainly reflects a little bit of my life experience. Jenny the writer who comes to L.A. and then discovers, or reckons with her sexual identity”. The first few seasons were doing just that – allowing Jenny to discover and come to accept her sexuality.

And now? She’s dead. One cannot help but think that it’s a less than great message to send to viewers (especially the curious) – come out and end up as a corpse. But then again Chaiken has repeatedly said that television, particularly melodramas such as The L Word should not be a place for politics.

So what does Jenny’s death mean? With The L Word often being regarded as a soap opera, Jenny’s death draws on similar themes from old favourites such as Melrose Place. In this context, her death seems only fitting. Maybe we should look past the politics and just see it as light entertainment? But then again, we are lesbians and that seems impossible...

As Jenny’s storyline was the impetus for The L Word at the beginning, with her death, maybe the show is seeking some kind of morbid full cycle? Maybe it’s Chaiken bringing about closure for the show and her old shelf as embodied by Jenny? Although that sounds a bit artsy...

What do you think about Jenny’s death? Good riddance? Tragic? If nothing else, the character certainly polarised the opinions of fans.

- C

POSTSCRIPT: Hmm, I wonder if a movie version is in the works like Sex and the City. Now that would be interesting. But what about Jenny? Bring her back from the dead? Or maybe draw on that staple from other soap opera’s and introduce Jenny’s long lost twin? Hmm, but then that has already been done, kind of, with the introduction of Adele.

The L Word: A fourth season cast shot.

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* SPOILER ALERT *

WARNING: YES, -SPOILERS- ABOUT SEASON 6 OF THE L WORD ABOVE! SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS.

Attack of the Lesbian Clones

A friend recently sent me a link to the Stuff Lesbians Like blog, which seeks to steer away from all those flannel-wearing stereotypes (not that there is anything wrong with them!) and create a new list of stuff that well, lesbians like.

A funny little piece is called "Dyke-a-Likes", which claims that we date people who are clones of ourselves, at least in the fashion sense. Matching hairstyles, jeans and tank tops anyone? Apparently if we're in an good ole butch/femme relationship then we coordinate clothing. And if we're not in a relationship, we seek out friends that are "Dyke-a-Likes".

With my own friend circle, I would say a definite no. None of us are clones. On a superficial level, none of us dress alike. However, with my girlfriend, I suppose we are into coordinating; I'll wear a red skirt and she'll wear a red tie. Or we both wear black and fade into the night. jk.

Looking around at girls' events such as Bitch and Moist, I cannot help but think that "Dyke-a-Like" friend circles do exist.

Does that apply to you? Do you and your girlfriend and/or friends dress, act and look alike?

Why does this happen? Is it because our wardrobes get doubled? Or are we are just narcisstic?

- C

Questions answered about the new Relationships Bill

Kristina Antoniades answers your questions about the new Relationships Bill 2008. If you have anymore legal questions about your relationship e-mail them to: kantoniades@landers.com.au and Kristina's answer will be posted in this column.

There has been a lot of media attention around same sex couples being able to register their relationship. What does this mean and how can I do that? (Jess, Vic)

The Relationships Bill 2008 ("the Bill") has recently been passed through Parliament. From 8th December 2008, same sex couples will be able to register their relationship with the Department of Births, Deaths and Marriages. Any person in a same sex relationship can register their relationship by completing an application form with their partner, signing a statutory declaration, and paying a fee of $180.00. However, there are legal obligations that come with registering your relationship and I would strongly recommend that you obtain some legal advice prior to doing so.

Do I have to be living with my girlfriend to register my relationship?

No. Cohabitation is not a prerequisite of registering your relationship. However, there are serious financial and legal implications that come with registering your relationship so please be informed and obtain some legal advice before you do so.

I am thinking about moving in with my partner of six months. I own my house, though she doesn’t really have anything. I'm worried that if we break up she will be able to take my house. Is there anything I should do to protect myself? (Anon, Syd)

It would be in your best interest to enter into a Relationship Agreement (which you will be able to do under the Relationships Act when it becomes operative in December 2008), which will protect your assets in the event your relationship breaks down. If you are planning to move in together prior to 8th December 2008 then you should enter into a Cohabitation Agreement to at least protect your interests in the interim. A Relationship Agreement is binding on the parties, however you must both seek legal advice prior to entering into the Agreement. It can specify that in the event your relationship was to break down that your partner would not have any claim to your property or to maintenance. I recommend that you obtain some legal advice prior to moving in together.

I heard that on Thursday, 13th November 2008, some law was passed in relation to lesbians having access to IVF. Is this now law?

That is correct. On 13th November 2008, the Assisted Reproductive Treatment Bill was passed through Parliament and is currently awaiting any amendments prior to it being given the Royal Assent and becoming legislation. Essentially the Bill provides for lesbian couples to be afforded the same parental rights as heterosexual couples and rights of access to IVF treatment. At present the current law fails to recognise the non-biological parent of a lesbian couple as a legal parent of a child. Under this Bill, the non-biological parent of a child will be presumed to be a legal parent of any child born if they are in a genuine domestic relationship when their partner underwent the procedure, and then became pregnant, and they had consented to the procedure.

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Kristina Antoniades, a lawyer in Lander & Rogers Family Law group, combines a strong commitment to pro bono work with a keen interest in domestic relationship law. This year, she has spoken at a number of parenting seminars for separated same-sex couples, and is currently undertaking pro bono presentations to other law firms on the implications of the Relationships Bill and how it will affect parties in domestic relationships.

Kristina also provides legal advice to the gay community, which she does as a mix of pro bono and paid work. In a recent case, Kristina acted for a woman who was involved in a dispute over children's issues with her former partner, the biological mother of their two children. In this case Kristina successfully secured a shared-care arrangement her client.

Kristina holds a Bachelor of Law and Bachelor of Arts from Monash University, is a member of the Junior Family Lawyers Committee and the Children and Youth Issues Committee with the Law Institute of Victoria. She is also a sporting enthusiast – currently a Second Dan Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, winning bronze at the 1997 Australian Championships.

The Chart

“To incestuousnnneeesss”, we cheered as we clinked our wine glasses and beer bottles together at The Bank in Newtown last Wednesday.

This seemingly odd little cheer was prompted after we realised that our friendship circle(s) had become even more incestuously interconnected, with further hook-ups between mutual friends and friends-of-friends occurring.

Naturally, this then prompted rummaging for a piece of paper and pen, with names and lines been drawn all over the place – dashes for relationships and solid lines for casual flings.

Alicia, Helena and Jenny looking at the chart

I cannot help but wonder how many charts The L Word has inspired.

In the end, the density of the interconnectedness was quite, well, astounding.

How did this happen? Is it because the dating pool is so small? Would moving interstate solve the problem? A suggestion made by one friend.

I cannot but think that the internet has also played a part. Afterall, every single woman I know is either on GayDarGirls or Pink Sofa. A new Facebook group even seeks to document Sydney’s lesbian chart. Meanwhile, the creators of The L Word have launched OurChart, a social networking site for lesbians which enables users to create and view profiles and blogs.

Rewind five years and prior to having a so-called knitting circle of queer women friends, I remember watching The L Word and feeling incredulous that every character could somehow be connected on Alice’s chart. ‘Surely not?’ I remember thinking.

And now I find myself thinking, ‘How can they not?’ Of course, not everyone is so interconnected. On Wednesday, we were thrilled to discover that one friend’s latest girlfriend was all but absent from the chart. Maybe there is hope yet! Although as one friend dryly noted, “She’s on the chart now; forever caught in the lesbian web of death!”

Looking at our chart, I certainly think Alice had a point when she said, “We’re all connected – through love, through loneliness, through one tiny, lamentable lapse in judgment”.

- C

Fauxmosexuality No More: Lohan Comes Out as Bisexual

Celesbianism? Lohan and Ronson.

In a recent Sydney Morning Herald opinion piece, Tim Duggan, bemoaned the rise of celebrities pretending to be lesbians for the coolness factor. Along with Katy Perry of ‘I Kissed a Girl’ fame, one of the celebrities Duggan singled out was “tabloid-hungry” Lindsay Lohan for her relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson.

Duggan went on to talk about the perils of “fauxmosexuality” or “celesbianism”, particularly for girls struggling with their sexuality. What sort of mixed messages will this send, he questioned, when at one moment Lohan is seen with Ronson and then later she is photographed with a man.

It was an interesting piece as it completely avoided the ‘B’ word. Bisexuality. It never seemed to occur to Duggan that maybe Lohan was bisexual. Mind you, Lohan has never professed to be a lesbian or spoken candidly about her relationship either. Until now.

In the December issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Lohan who features on the cover (pictured) provides some clarification about her sexuality for all those inquiring minds. In the interview, Lohan said she wasn’t a lesbian, but when asked if she was bisexual, responded with: “Maybe. Yeah”.

On the topic of her relationship with Ronson, Lohan added, “I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing... She's a wonderful person and I love her very much”. How sweet!

Lohan also gave some insight into advice that she gave her sister, Ali: "I've told her that it's okay to like a boy or a girl if you're comfortable with it and it's something you believe you want to do. And I told her not to be afraid of who she wants to be”.

Whilst I once shared Duggan’s opinion that Lohan was doing this for publicity, the ongoing nature of her relationship with Ronson and partly as a result of this interview, I really don’t think such comments reveal a celebrity trying to cash in on mainstream society’s obsession with same-sex trysts. Nor do they send mixed messages. Rather Lohan is being honest and open about who’s she with and how she’s identifying. And who can complain about that?

Of course, Katy Perry’s infamous song is a different story...

- C

Malaysia Issues Ban on Lesbian Sex

One of Malaysia's highest Islamic bodies has banned females from dressing or behaving like men and engaging in lesbian sex, saying it was forbidden by the religion.

The National Fatwa Council on October 23rd issued its ruling following a two-day meeting that discussed recent cases of young women apparently behaving like men and exhibiting homosexual tendencies, state news agency Bernama reported.

Council chairman Abdul Shukor Husin told Bernama many young women admired the way men dress, behave and socialise, violating human nature and denying their femininity. "It is unacceptable to see women who love the male lifestyle including dressing in the clothes men wear," Abdul Shukor was quoted as saying.

He said that masculine behaviour in women led to having “sex with someone of the same gender, that is woman and woman. "In view of this, the National Fatwa Council which met today have decided and taken the stand that such acts are forbidden and banned," he said.

Male homosexuality, considered against the order of nature, is illegal in Malaysia but lawyers say female homosexuality is technically permissible as there are no provisions for it under the law. The Fatwa Council does not have jurisdiction in civil law, but the ruling appears to be an attempt to push female homosexuality towards illegality.

Islam is the official religion of Malaysia, where more than 60 percent of its 27 million people are Muslim Malays who practice a conservative brand of the religion.

- Various news sources

Gay Marriage Begins in Connecticut

Same-sex couples will be able to pick up marriage licence applications in the US state of Connecticut from November 10th.

The Supreme Court of Connecticut overturned a ban on gay marriage earlier in October, ruling that by stopping same sex partners from marrying was a violation of their constitutional rights. The court is to decide the exact date on which gay marriages can be conducted. There have been more than 2,000 civil unions in the state since they were legalised in 2005.

"I would bet that the majority of those people would change the civil unions to marriage," said Anne Stanback (pictured), president of gay rights group Love Makes a Family. "I think that you have people who've waited to get married and have not had civil unions."

The judgement followed a case that began four years ago when eight same-sex couples sued the state arguing that by not allowing them to marry, the state discriminated against them in volitional of their constitutional rights.

"Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same-sex partner of their choice,” said Justice Richard Palmer. "To decide otherwise would require us to apply one set of constitutional principles to gay persons and another to all others."

Republican state Governor Jodi Rell said that although she disagreed with the judgement, she would uphold it. "I do not believe their voice reflects the majority of the people of Connecticut," the Governor said.

"However, I am also firmly convinced that attempts to reverse this decision, either legislatively or by amending the state Constitution, will not meet with success."

- Various news sources

Ex-Lesbian Faces Charges

Lisa Miller, a former lesbian who rejected the homosexual lifestyle and returned to her belief in Christ, will face contempt of court charges today for refusing to give unsupervised visitation of her daughter to her former lesbian partner.

Miller, 40, told LifeSiteNews in a extensive recent interview that her six year old daughter, Isabella, has said that she would like to kill herself following an unsupervised visit, and has complained of being forced to bathe naked with 44-year-old Janet Jenkins, according to Miller (see the full interview). Her Vermont attorney, Steven Crampton, reportedly plans to present sworn testimony of evidence of abuse during today’s hearing.

Former lesbian Lisa Miller and her daughter

Vermont courts have awarded liberal visitation rights to Jenkins, despite the fact that she has no biological nor adoptive relationship with Isabella. Lisa Miller conceived Isabella through artificial insemination and says that Jenkins took little interest in the conception and pregnancy. The two were joined in a “civil union” under Vermont law.

If Miller is found in contempt of court, she could be imprisoned on the spot, and could face a steep fine. The judge could also choose to transfer full custody to Jenkins. Miller has already paid a $10,000 fine for refusing further visitation to Jenkins.

According to Miller’s attorney in Virginia, Rena Lindevaldsen, Vermont law makes no provisions for parental status in the case of a spouse conceiving by artificial insemination, even in marriages and other unions between heterosexuals. However, a Vermont judge decided to fill the vacuum by declaring that parental rights were automatically conferred.

The judge “said there was no law and he created law to decide who is a parent ... he said the legislature hasn’t passed a law, I don’t know what to do, so he created a new law and applied it to this child who had been born two years earlier,” Lindevaldsen told LifeSiteNews.

Although Virginia law clearly rejects any and all rights and claims stemming from homosexual “marriage” and “civil union” arrangements in other states, Virginia judges have repeatedly upheld the decisions of the Vermont courts.

The case has also been appealed to the Supreme Court twice, but the court has refused a hearing for Miller.

However, despite the enormous opposition she faces from the court systems of Vermont and Virginia, Miller says that she continues to trust God.

“I believe that God is in control and I believe that anything that is going to happen – He is going to allow it,” she told LifeSiteNews. “I don’t have any fear. I feel at peace that God is with me. He has protected me and Isabella for the last five years and I believe that He is going to continue to do that.”

To learn more about Lisa and Isabella’s story visit the Facebook group.

- Story courtesy of LifeSiteNews.com

The Cranky Lesbian, Prop 8 and Facebook

If you believe the stereotype, lesbians are always angry about something. The Cranky Lesbian is a blog that plays on this stereotype, with the 25-year-old Californian blogger directing her “crankiness and prodigious amounts of homosexuality” towards topics such as the recent U.S elections (Palin anyone?), Grey’s Anatomy (the Callica romance!) and those just-for-fun 'Are you a Lesbian?' quizzes.

Most recently, the Cranky Lesbian has also been directing her crankiness towards California’s Governor Schwarzenegger (most famous for his portrayl of a cyborg and pregnant man), because he mostly kept quiet about Proposition 8 and didn’t fight against it. As you all probably know, Proposition 8 was passed at the recent U.S elections to amend the constitution in California to ban same-sex marriage.

Proposition 8: Are Ellen and Portia still legally married?

Of course, this leaves in limbo land all those couples and celebrity pairings such as Ellen and Portia who got married after the Californian Supreme Court overturned the ban in May. (For all those law geeks out there, here's the judgement in full). What will happen now?

My Facebook has been flooded by friends since the elections with requests to join groups such as 1,000,000 Million Strong Against Newly Passed Prop 8. I cannot help but be a bit cynical about this digital activism.

What do you think about such Facebook groups? Do they bring about change? Or is it just a way for us to vent our frustration online? Whether it be about the success of Proposition 8 over in Calfornia or closer to home, the end of historically queer establishments such as the Newtown Hotel and the axing of The L Word on free-to-air Australian television.

- C

Welcome LOTL's New Online Columnists

We've added two new columns to the LOTL website. Here to help you navigate your lesbian life are two US-based counselors Tracey and Kathy, and Australia-based lawyer Kristina Antoniades.

Tracey and Kathy are monthly contributors of a new column, "Dear Lezzies - Common Sense Lesbian Advice". They're here to talk about life, love and relationships. Have something that needs solving? Visit www.lotl.com to read their column and ask your questions.




Kristina Antoniades, a lawyer in Lander & Rogers Family Law group, combines a strong commitment to pro bono work with a keen interest in domestic relationship law. This year, she has spoken at a number of parenting seminars for separated same-sex couples, and is currently undertaking pro bono presentations to other law firms on the implications of the Relationships Bill and how it will affect parties in domestic relationships. Check out her column on www.lotl.com for valuable legal advice or to ask your own questions.

Grey's Less Gay

No sooner did we announce and celebrate the new lesbian storyline on hit US show Grey’s Anatomy, it has been axed and one of the actresses fired. Brooke Smith is ending her career with the people on ABC’s, Grey’s Anatomy. Brooke, who plays Doctor Erica Hahn, joined the cast last season as the outspoken and brash doctor. In a recent episode, Dr. Hahn made a declaration to the viewers that she was a lesbian after her earthshaking encounter with Doctor Callie Torres, who is played by Sara Ramirez.

The show creator Shonda Rhimes denies Smith was fired for playing a lesbian. “Clearly it’s not an issue as we have a lesbian character on the show — Callie Torres,” she said. “Sara Ramirez is an incredible comedic and dramatic actress and we wanted to be able to play up her magic. Unfortunately, we did not find that the magic and chemistry with Brooke’s character would sustain in the long run. The impact of the Callie/Erica relationship will be felt and played out in a story for Callie. I believe it belittles the relationship to simply replace Erica with “another lesbian.”

Lesbian Columnist Dead In Florida Murder-Suicide

Carol Anne Burger (pictured), 57, an openly lesbian columnist for The Huffington Post, murdered her ex-partner by stabbing her 222 times with a screwdriver and then committed suicide by shooting herself in the head last week.

The victim, Jessica Kalish, who shared a house with Burger despite breaking up with her more than a year ago, was found last Thursday stuffed in the backseat of her gun-metal BMW sedan, abandoned behind a medical office in Boynton Beach, Florida. Her blood was splashed around the rear end and undercarriage of the car, as if her killer had tried to load her into the trunk. The driver-side window was shattered.

Stab wounds were clustered around the back of her head and stitched across her back and arms and face. Most were between an inch and an inch-and-a-half deep. A blow to Kalish's neck probably killed her, investigators determined. At a news conference Wednesday, police laid out what they'd learned during a week of investigation. They said the evidence pointed to one conclusion: Burger killed Kalish, a 56-year-old software executive whom friends described as worldly and intelligent, and then tried to throw investigators off her trail.

Burger, an award-winning photojournalist and former editor, was very excited to be writing about the presidential election and covered a wide range of stories including early voting in Florida, a summit on green jobs with Barack Obama and swing-state governors and a Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation event.

Obama Wins

On November 4 Americans watched Barack Obama become elected the first African American president in US history. Gays and lesbians have reason to celebrate, as Obama's policies are more friendly to gays than John McCain. In his victory speech, the Illinois senator mentioned gays and lesbians and his belief that US citizens should look after themselves and each other.

However, gays and lesbians weren't quite so lucky with anti-gay initiatives in four states. Act one prevents any unmarried couple, gay or straight, from becoming an adoptive or foster parent. Proposition 102 was passed in Arizona stating that "Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state." Amendment 2 was passed in Florida, which makes marriage only legal between one man and one woman, and in heartbreaking news for California’s LGBT activists, Gay-rights advocates vowed to press on for same-sex marriages after California voters dealt them a stunning setback by approving a ban on such unions.

The constitutional amendment will limit marriage to heterosexual couples, the first time such a vote has taken place in a state where gay unions are legal.

It overturns a recent state Supreme Court decision that gave gay couples the right to wed just months ago.

"We pick ourselves up and trudge on," Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, said early Wednesday when it appeared Proposition 8 was headed for passage. "There has been enormous movement in favor of full equality in eight short years. That is the direction this is heading, and if it's not today or it's not tomorrow, it will be soon."

Photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images

Larger Than Life - Meet Lea DeLaria

This will be easy, I thought. Having interviewed Lea DeLaria twice before, I knew that all I had to do was get her going and let the tape roll. DeLaria, who tours Australia this month with her jazz band and stand-up show, improvises wildly, crafting setups, punchlines and call backs like the seasoned comic that she is. And like the professional jazz musician that she also is, she riffs, swings and scats, creating her own edgy harmonies. It’s the word according to DeLaria, and it’s hard to get a word of your own in edgewise. Nevertheless, I had a few questions up my sleeve. For starters, what has she been doing in the decade since we last spoke?

“I don’t even know where those fucking years went,” she quips. “It’s like this runaway freight train, my career.” Indeed. Since her successful show Muff Diva, she’s done Broadway, TV, films, and recorded several jazz albums. “I haven’t looked back since.”

DeLaria has a big mouth, which is indispensable for a performer of her ilk. But sometimes it gets her into trouble. “In the last few years I found myself in a lot of trouble for making political statements about the Bush administration. I’ve pissed off a lot of people in the queer community as well because I think we’ve become complacent idiots.”

Her opinion on gay marriage is a case in point. “If you want to get married, you go out and do it. Good for you. Get a priest, get a rabbi, go for it. I don’t want to be told I can’t get married just because I’m gay. But whether or not that becomes the main focus of what we should be fighting for when queers are still being beat up and killed and murdered on the street and kicked out of their families and ostracized teenagers are committing suicide I’m not so sure.” All of this she says without drawing a breath. “That’s the short answer, not the funny one,” she adds.

For the complete article, please visit www.lotl.com

A Lesbian Theme for Queen Latifah?

Rapper and actress Queen Latifah considered calling her new album The L Word, to mess with everyone who has speculated with her sexuality. Although the temptation was strong, she decided against the title in the end, preferring to not bring more attention to her personal life. "Since people want to play games, I like to jab back sometimes just for fun, but I'm like, 'Nah, that's too much energy wasted.'" We'll have to wait until the album is released in December to see what title she decided on.

I Hate Lesbians by Clare Edmondson

I hate lesbians. Don’t get me wrong, I like the individual lesbian, but not the collective group. A dungaree of lesbians has the ability to bring a cold sweat to my unsuspecting armpit. This makes me an altogether ridiculous lesbian, as a surely a lesbian is meant to like lesbians?

It’s not that I’m homophobic. I don’t actively go out and insight hatred towards large groups of lesbians, throwing cat hairs, Ikea promotional materials and pints of beer at an unsuspecting group. I just simply don’t understand what lesbians have in common in order to function as a ‘community.’ The obvious commonality that lesbians hold is a sexual penchant for fannies, which is, by all accounts, a wonderful thing to have in common. However, rather superficial, and after a while - what with Lesbian Bed Death (LBD) - rather mundane.

Our community was once based on fighting over our basic human rights, in order to give us a united strength, to gain support in our times of homophobic abuse and to put the fascists down. This of course still goes on, but the situation has become much less of an issue. Our fight for equal rights is drawing to a close, therefore apart from a common interest in fanny loving, what is left?

DeGeneres Speaks Against Proposition 8

Comedian and top ranking talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, who married Portia de Rossi in August, has urged people to oppose Proposition 8, which seeks to overturn the right for gays and lesbian to marry in the state of California.

The amendment to the marriage legislation would effectively ban gay marriage in California, if it passed a public vote in November.

On her blog DeGeneres wrote: "There's a California Proposition on the ballot that's a little confusing. It's Proposition 8. It's called, 'The California Marriage Protection Act' - but don't let the name fool you. It's not protecting anyone's marriage. Not yours. Not mine. The wording of Prop 8 is tricky. It's like if someone asked you, 'You don't want dessert, right?' But you do want dessert so you say, 'Yes,' which really means you don't want dessert. And if you say, 'No,' which means you do want dessert - it sounds like you don't. Either way, you don't get what you want. See - confusing. Just like Prop. 8.

"So, in case I haven't made myself clear, I'm FOR gay marriage. And in order to protect that right - please VOTE NO on Proposition 8. And now that you're informed, spread the word. I'm begging you. I can't return the wedding gifts - I love my new toaster."

The campaigns for and against Proposition 8 have seen donations pour into both campaigns. Supporters of the ban on gay marriage had raised $1.2 million by late August for their cause. Actor Brad Pitt and director Steven Spielberg have donated large sums of money to gay rights campaigners fighting the ban.

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Leading Character Actress: Coming Out Killed My Mother

Award-winning stage and screen actress Miriam Margolyes, a recipient of an OBE for services to drama, and best known for her role in the Harry Potter films, has revealed that she believes coming out as a lesbian caused her mother’s death. Speaking on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio 4 in September, Ms Margolyes said, "When I told my mother that I had had an affair with a woman, she had a stroke about three days later. I was very shocked by what happened, which started the long period of her terrible illness and the blackest time of my life. I realised that telling people things that they can't deal with is an indulgence. It caused the person I loved most in the world a pain she could not bear, and I have to take the responsibility for that.”

Margolyes has been reticent to the press about her sexuality until recently, even though it was an open secret to many in the worlds of stage and screen. Her guilt over her mother’s death is compounded by regret that her mother did not live to see the highs of her career, saying: "That is so sad. It hurts me."

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JILL OF ALL TRADES

Merryn Johns caught up with gorgeous out actress Jill Bennett.

The dramatic-looking brunette, who has played equally dramatic roles ranging from an assassin to a possessed woman, belongs to a small but elite group of out lesbian actresses in Hollywood.
“There’s a few of us now, actually: Leisha Hailey, Daniela Sea, Jenny Shimizu, Michelle Wolff ... let’s see here, did I say there was a lot?,” laughs Bennett. “Um, one of my co-stars on 3Way, Maile Flanagan, Cathy DeBuono, who I worked with on Out at the Wedding and Then Came Lola, Jessica Graham, who’s also been making the rounds of independent film...so, there’s a small group of us, but we’re all working our way out. Here in LA we all see each other and hang out and work together, thankfully, there’s more projects now.”
It sounds a bit like Bennett’s web series, 3Way, in which she stars. “That’s the idea. We get to work with a lot of people, friends of ours, and not have to wait for a studio or a network to decide to give us a show.”
Bennett, 33, who left the American Midwest in the 1990s for a career in showbiz, is all about doing it herself, and doing it her way. Starved for out role models as a young woman, she nevertheless pursued acting, inspired by actresses like Meryl Streep and Susan Sarandon. “I remember when Thelma and Louise came out in 1992 – that movie was absolutely incredible; there definitely was a lesbian undertone in that film. Terminator 2 had such a strong female character in it. That was around the time I started to get really interested in acting.”

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Lohan Admits To Relationships With Ronson

It is hardly a secret that Lindsay Lohan and lesbian DJ Samantha Ronson are romantically involved, but in an interview on September 22, Lohan publicly admitted to her relationship with Ronson. According to a report from Shana Naomi on Out.com's "Popnography" blog, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson called into Dr. Drew's "Loveline" radio show on Monday night to chat about Adam Goldstein (DJ AM), who recently survived a horrific plane crash that killed four other passengers. During a discussion with DJ Ted Stryker, he asked Lohan and Ronson how long the two had "been going out". Lohan responded, with slight hesitation: "A long... a very long time." Stryker then told Lohan that he hoped "you guys stay together, you're a very lovely looking couple." To which Lohan responded, "Thank you very much."
Lohan and Ronson have been repeatedly photographed engaging in public displayes of affection, including kissing, by the paparazzi. Both have also made less-than-subtle remarks about their affection for each other in public and on their respective blogs. However, this is the first time Lohan has come right out and directly answered the question of whether the two are definitely a couple.

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