Tila Tequila wants you to fuck off. It’s the first line of her book, Hooking up with Tila Tequila, and she’s saying it in big, fat red letters. She’s telling you to fuck off because you may be a “hater” who thinks she’s an “obnoxious, slutty bimbo.” Only she’s not. This is her book, which makes her a published author, and “doesn’t that sound smart?”
My previous knowledge of Ms. Tequila was confined to her reality TV show, MTV’s A Shot at Love, where a handful of not-so-straight girls and a handful of so-very-straight guys vied for her love. I wrote her off as an aforementioned obnoxious, slutty bimbo who was using her bi-sexuality (be it genuine or not) as currency in her quest for fame. Turns out I’m not the only lesbian who thinks so, and she mentions the negative perception of her in queer circles.
Maybe lesbians aren’t flocking to her because she reasons that women go with women because “sometimes girls get tired of dealing with guys being all tough and macho, and all of a sudden they find themselves being into other chicks.” I don’t know about you, but I know plenty of tough and macho dykes. Even Tila can be quite the tough and macho lady, telling those haters to suck her dick. She also suggests you peruse the many pictures of her throughout her book and get your box off.
Looking to put those “You’re a fake bisexual” haters to shame, she delves into how her relationships with both men and women work. When Tequila is with a girl she plays the guy role, and says, “When I do want to feel like a woman, and I don’t want to have so much power all the time, then it’s nice to go back to a guy.” It is with disappointment I read that Tequila, a woman with formidable force and a healthy amount of ambition, breaks down relationships with women to a mere power struggle. Are women there to have power over, or to take power from?
This “Madonna of MySpace” (Time) has certainly learned to successfully market herself by whatever means possible, and that deserves a nod of respect. However, as a lesbian who likes both her power and those tough and macho dykes, I’m going to have to return my Tila Tequila Fan Club membership card. But maybe I’m a hater. Maybe I should just fuck off.
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