Award-winning stage and screen actress Miriam Margolyes, a recipient of an OBE for services to drama, and best known for her role in the Harry Potter films, has revealed that she believes coming out as a lesbian caused her mother’s death. Speaking on Desert Island Discs on BBC Radio 4 in September, Ms Margolyes said, "When I told my mother that I had had an affair with a woman, she had a stroke about three days later. I was very shocked by what happened, which started the long period of her terrible illness and the blackest time of my life. I realised that telling people things that they can't deal with is an indulgence. It caused the person I loved most in the world a pain she could not bear, and I have to take the responsibility for that.”
Margolyes has been reticent to the press about her sexuality until recently, even though it was an open secret to many in the worlds of stage and screen. Her guilt over her mother’s death is compounded by regret that her mother did not live to see the highs of her career, saying: "That is so sad. It hurts me."
Margolyes has been reticent to the press about her sexuality until recently, even though it was an open secret to many in the worlds of stage and screen. Her guilt over her mother’s death is compounded by regret that her mother did not live to see the highs of her career, saying: "That is so sad. It hurts me."
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It's so sad that Miriam feels that way.
ReplyDeleteTelling her mother ~wasn't~ what lead to her stroke. If anything 'caused' her stroke in reaction to her daughter's disclosure, it was growing up and living in a culture of fear and loathing towards difference and diversity that left her mother unable to embrace her daughter for who she IS, rather than her expectations of who she SHOULD be.
Very very sad.
I also do not believe that it "caused" the stroke! thats the biggest load of wank ever!
ReplyDeleteNobody should feel responsible for something as terrible as the death of a parent. Maybe the poor woman was just an old-timer and her death just HAPPENED to come about after Miriam came out to her. I strongly doubt that sharing the deepest and possibly most important part of your life with someone who loves (or should love) you unconditionally would kill them.
ReplyDeleteI think that that shock, high anxiety, or a broken heart can possibly kill someone, or at the very least give them a nervous breakdown. If someone has a belief in something so strong and there life is wrapped up in this belief then if they are told that someone who they thought they knew, infact has totally different beliefs, then there world is destroyed.
ReplyDeletethis is the very reason i will not tell my mother. some people have rigid beliefs that will never change, some people love there children conditionally. Sad but true.