Questions answered about the new Relationships Bill

Kristina Antoniades answers your questions about the new Relationships Bill 2008. If you have anymore legal questions about your relationship e-mail them to: kantoniades@landers.com.au and Kristina's answer will be posted in this column.

There has been a lot of media attention around same sex couples being able to register their relationship. What does this mean and how can I do that? (Jess, Vic)

The Relationships Bill 2008 ("the Bill") has recently been passed through Parliament. From 8th December 2008, same sex couples will be able to register their relationship with the Department of Births, Deaths and Marriages. Any person in a same sex relationship can register their relationship by completing an application form with their partner, signing a statutory declaration, and paying a fee of $180.00. However, there are legal obligations that come with registering your relationship and I would strongly recommend that you obtain some legal advice prior to doing so.

Do I have to be living with my girlfriend to register my relationship?

No. Cohabitation is not a prerequisite of registering your relationship. However, there are serious financial and legal implications that come with registering your relationship so please be informed and obtain some legal advice before you do so.

I am thinking about moving in with my partner of six months. I own my house, though she doesn’t really have anything. I'm worried that if we break up she will be able to take my house. Is there anything I should do to protect myself? (Anon, Syd)

It would be in your best interest to enter into a Relationship Agreement (which you will be able to do under the Relationships Act when it becomes operative in December 2008), which will protect your assets in the event your relationship breaks down. If you are planning to move in together prior to 8th December 2008 then you should enter into a Cohabitation Agreement to at least protect your interests in the interim. A Relationship Agreement is binding on the parties, however you must both seek legal advice prior to entering into the Agreement. It can specify that in the event your relationship was to break down that your partner would not have any claim to your property or to maintenance. I recommend that you obtain some legal advice prior to moving in together.

I heard that on Thursday, 13th November 2008, some law was passed in relation to lesbians having access to IVF. Is this now law?

That is correct. On 13th November 2008, the Assisted Reproductive Treatment Bill was passed through Parliament and is currently awaiting any amendments prior to it being given the Royal Assent and becoming legislation. Essentially the Bill provides for lesbian couples to be afforded the same parental rights as heterosexual couples and rights of access to IVF treatment. At present the current law fails to recognise the non-biological parent of a lesbian couple as a legal parent of a child. Under this Bill, the non-biological parent of a child will be presumed to be a legal parent of any child born if they are in a genuine domestic relationship when their partner underwent the procedure, and then became pregnant, and they had consented to the procedure.

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Kristina Antoniades, a lawyer in Lander & Rogers Family Law group, combines a strong commitment to pro bono work with a keen interest in domestic relationship law. This year, she has spoken at a number of parenting seminars for separated same-sex couples, and is currently undertaking pro bono presentations to other law firms on the implications of the Relationships Bill and how it will affect parties in domestic relationships.

Kristina also provides legal advice to the gay community, which she does as a mix of pro bono and paid work. In a recent case, Kristina acted for a woman who was involved in a dispute over children's issues with her former partner, the biological mother of their two children. In this case Kristina successfully secured a shared-care arrangement her client.

Kristina holds a Bachelor of Law and Bachelor of Arts from Monash University, is a member of the Junior Family Lawyers Committee and the Children and Youth Issues Committee with the Law Institute of Victoria. She is also a sporting enthusiast – currently a Second Dan Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, winning bronze at the 1997 Australian Championships.

The Chart

“To incestuousnnneeesss”, we cheered as we clinked our wine glasses and beer bottles together at The Bank in Newtown last Wednesday.

This seemingly odd little cheer was prompted after we realised that our friendship circle(s) had become even more incestuously interconnected, with further hook-ups between mutual friends and friends-of-friends occurring.

Naturally, this then prompted rummaging for a piece of paper and pen, with names and lines been drawn all over the place – dashes for relationships and solid lines for casual flings.

Alicia, Helena and Jenny looking at the chart

I cannot help but wonder how many charts The L Word has inspired.

In the end, the density of the interconnectedness was quite, well, astounding.

How did this happen? Is it because the dating pool is so small? Would moving interstate solve the problem? A suggestion made by one friend.

I cannot but think that the internet has also played a part. Afterall, every single woman I know is either on GayDarGirls or Pink Sofa. A new Facebook group even seeks to document Sydney’s lesbian chart. Meanwhile, the creators of The L Word have launched OurChart, a social networking site for lesbians which enables users to create and view profiles and blogs.

Rewind five years and prior to having a so-called knitting circle of queer women friends, I remember watching The L Word and feeling incredulous that every character could somehow be connected on Alice’s chart. ‘Surely not?’ I remember thinking.

And now I find myself thinking, ‘How can they not?’ Of course, not everyone is so interconnected. On Wednesday, we were thrilled to discover that one friend’s latest girlfriend was all but absent from the chart. Maybe there is hope yet! Although as one friend dryly noted, “She’s on the chart now; forever caught in the lesbian web of death!”

Looking at our chart, I certainly think Alice had a point when she said, “We’re all connected – through love, through loneliness, through one tiny, lamentable lapse in judgment”.

- C

Fauxmosexuality No More: Lohan Comes Out as Bisexual

Celesbianism? Lohan and Ronson.

In a recent Sydney Morning Herald opinion piece, Tim Duggan, bemoaned the rise of celebrities pretending to be lesbians for the coolness factor. Along with Katy Perry of ‘I Kissed a Girl’ fame, one of the celebrities Duggan singled out was “tabloid-hungry” Lindsay Lohan for her relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson.

Duggan went on to talk about the perils of “fauxmosexuality” or “celesbianism”, particularly for girls struggling with their sexuality. What sort of mixed messages will this send, he questioned, when at one moment Lohan is seen with Ronson and then later she is photographed with a man.

It was an interesting piece as it completely avoided the ‘B’ word. Bisexuality. It never seemed to occur to Duggan that maybe Lohan was bisexual. Mind you, Lohan has never professed to be a lesbian or spoken candidly about her relationship either. Until now.

In the December issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Lohan who features on the cover (pictured) provides some clarification about her sexuality for all those inquiring minds. In the interview, Lohan said she wasn’t a lesbian, but when asked if she was bisexual, responded with: “Maybe. Yeah”.

On the topic of her relationship with Ronson, Lohan added, “I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing... She's a wonderful person and I love her very much”. How sweet!

Lohan also gave some insight into advice that she gave her sister, Ali: "I've told her that it's okay to like a boy or a girl if you're comfortable with it and it's something you believe you want to do. And I told her not to be afraid of who she wants to be”.

Whilst I once shared Duggan’s opinion that Lohan was doing this for publicity, the ongoing nature of her relationship with Ronson and partly as a result of this interview, I really don’t think such comments reveal a celebrity trying to cash in on mainstream society’s obsession with same-sex trysts. Nor do they send mixed messages. Rather Lohan is being honest and open about who’s she with and how she’s identifying. And who can complain about that?

Of course, Katy Perry’s infamous song is a different story...

- C

Malaysia Issues Ban on Lesbian Sex

One of Malaysia's highest Islamic bodies has banned females from dressing or behaving like men and engaging in lesbian sex, saying it was forbidden by the religion.

The National Fatwa Council on October 23rd issued its ruling following a two-day meeting that discussed recent cases of young women apparently behaving like men and exhibiting homosexual tendencies, state news agency Bernama reported.

Council chairman Abdul Shukor Husin told Bernama many young women admired the way men dress, behave and socialise, violating human nature and denying their femininity. "It is unacceptable to see women who love the male lifestyle including dressing in the clothes men wear," Abdul Shukor was quoted as saying.

He said that masculine behaviour in women led to having “sex with someone of the same gender, that is woman and woman. "In view of this, the National Fatwa Council which met today have decided and taken the stand that such acts are forbidden and banned," he said.

Male homosexuality, considered against the order of nature, is illegal in Malaysia but lawyers say female homosexuality is technically permissible as there are no provisions for it under the law. The Fatwa Council does not have jurisdiction in civil law, but the ruling appears to be an attempt to push female homosexuality towards illegality.

Islam is the official religion of Malaysia, where more than 60 percent of its 27 million people are Muslim Malays who practice a conservative brand of the religion.

- Various news sources

Gay Marriage Begins in Connecticut

Same-sex couples will be able to pick up marriage licence applications in the US state of Connecticut from November 10th.

The Supreme Court of Connecticut overturned a ban on gay marriage earlier in October, ruling that by stopping same sex partners from marrying was a violation of their constitutional rights. The court is to decide the exact date on which gay marriages can be conducted. There have been more than 2,000 civil unions in the state since they were legalised in 2005.

"I would bet that the majority of those people would change the civil unions to marriage," said Anne Stanback (pictured), president of gay rights group Love Makes a Family. "I think that you have people who've waited to get married and have not had civil unions."

The judgement followed a case that began four years ago when eight same-sex couples sued the state arguing that by not allowing them to marry, the state discriminated against them in volitional of their constitutional rights.

"Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same-sex partner of their choice,” said Justice Richard Palmer. "To decide otherwise would require us to apply one set of constitutional principles to gay persons and another to all others."

Republican state Governor Jodi Rell said that although she disagreed with the judgement, she would uphold it. "I do not believe their voice reflects the majority of the people of Connecticut," the Governor said.

"However, I am also firmly convinced that attempts to reverse this decision, either legislatively or by amending the state Constitution, will not meet with success."

- Various news sources

Ex-Lesbian Faces Charges

Lisa Miller, a former lesbian who rejected the homosexual lifestyle and returned to her belief in Christ, will face contempt of court charges today for refusing to give unsupervised visitation of her daughter to her former lesbian partner.

Miller, 40, told LifeSiteNews in a extensive recent interview that her six year old daughter, Isabella, has said that she would like to kill herself following an unsupervised visit, and has complained of being forced to bathe naked with 44-year-old Janet Jenkins, according to Miller (see the full interview). Her Vermont attorney, Steven Crampton, reportedly plans to present sworn testimony of evidence of abuse during today’s hearing.

Former lesbian Lisa Miller and her daughter

Vermont courts have awarded liberal visitation rights to Jenkins, despite the fact that she has no biological nor adoptive relationship with Isabella. Lisa Miller conceived Isabella through artificial insemination and says that Jenkins took little interest in the conception and pregnancy. The two were joined in a “civil union” under Vermont law.

If Miller is found in contempt of court, she could be imprisoned on the spot, and could face a steep fine. The judge could also choose to transfer full custody to Jenkins. Miller has already paid a $10,000 fine for refusing further visitation to Jenkins.

According to Miller’s attorney in Virginia, Rena Lindevaldsen, Vermont law makes no provisions for parental status in the case of a spouse conceiving by artificial insemination, even in marriages and other unions between heterosexuals. However, a Vermont judge decided to fill the vacuum by declaring that parental rights were automatically conferred.

The judge “said there was no law and he created law to decide who is a parent ... he said the legislature hasn’t passed a law, I don’t know what to do, so he created a new law and applied it to this child who had been born two years earlier,” Lindevaldsen told LifeSiteNews.

Although Virginia law clearly rejects any and all rights and claims stemming from homosexual “marriage” and “civil union” arrangements in other states, Virginia judges have repeatedly upheld the decisions of the Vermont courts.

The case has also been appealed to the Supreme Court twice, but the court has refused a hearing for Miller.

However, despite the enormous opposition she faces from the court systems of Vermont and Virginia, Miller says that she continues to trust God.

“I believe that God is in control and I believe that anything that is going to happen – He is going to allow it,” she told LifeSiteNews. “I don’t have any fear. I feel at peace that God is with me. He has protected me and Isabella for the last five years and I believe that He is going to continue to do that.”

To learn more about Lisa and Isabella’s story visit the Facebook group.

- Story courtesy of LifeSiteNews.com

The Cranky Lesbian, Prop 8 and Facebook

If you believe the stereotype, lesbians are always angry about something. The Cranky Lesbian is a blog that plays on this stereotype, with the 25-year-old Californian blogger directing her “crankiness and prodigious amounts of homosexuality” towards topics such as the recent U.S elections (Palin anyone?), Grey’s Anatomy (the Callica romance!) and those just-for-fun 'Are you a Lesbian?' quizzes.

Most recently, the Cranky Lesbian has also been directing her crankiness towards California’s Governor Schwarzenegger (most famous for his portrayl of a cyborg and pregnant man), because he mostly kept quiet about Proposition 8 and didn’t fight against it. As you all probably know, Proposition 8 was passed at the recent U.S elections to amend the constitution in California to ban same-sex marriage.

Proposition 8: Are Ellen and Portia still legally married?

Of course, this leaves in limbo land all those couples and celebrity pairings such as Ellen and Portia who got married after the Californian Supreme Court overturned the ban in May. (For all those law geeks out there, here's the judgement in full). What will happen now?

My Facebook has been flooded by friends since the elections with requests to join groups such as 1,000,000 Million Strong Against Newly Passed Prop 8. I cannot help but be a bit cynical about this digital activism.

What do you think about such Facebook groups? Do they bring about change? Or is it just a way for us to vent our frustration online? Whether it be about the success of Proposition 8 over in Calfornia or closer to home, the end of historically queer establishments such as the Newtown Hotel and the axing of The L Word on free-to-air Australian television.

- C

Welcome LOTL's New Online Columnists

We've added two new columns to the LOTL website. Here to help you navigate your lesbian life are two US-based counselors Tracey and Kathy, and Australia-based lawyer Kristina Antoniades.

Tracey and Kathy are monthly contributors of a new column, "Dear Lezzies - Common Sense Lesbian Advice". They're here to talk about life, love and relationships. Have something that needs solving? Visit www.lotl.com to read their column and ask your questions.




Kristina Antoniades, a lawyer in Lander & Rogers Family Law group, combines a strong commitment to pro bono work with a keen interest in domestic relationship law. This year, she has spoken at a number of parenting seminars for separated same-sex couples, and is currently undertaking pro bono presentations to other law firms on the implications of the Relationships Bill and how it will affect parties in domestic relationships. Check out her column on www.lotl.com for valuable legal advice or to ask your own questions.

Grey's Less Gay

No sooner did we announce and celebrate the new lesbian storyline on hit US show Grey’s Anatomy, it has been axed and one of the actresses fired. Brooke Smith is ending her career with the people on ABC’s, Grey’s Anatomy. Brooke, who plays Doctor Erica Hahn, joined the cast last season as the outspoken and brash doctor. In a recent episode, Dr. Hahn made a declaration to the viewers that she was a lesbian after her earthshaking encounter with Doctor Callie Torres, who is played by Sara Ramirez.

The show creator Shonda Rhimes denies Smith was fired for playing a lesbian. “Clearly it’s not an issue as we have a lesbian character on the show — Callie Torres,” she said. “Sara Ramirez is an incredible comedic and dramatic actress and we wanted to be able to play up her magic. Unfortunately, we did not find that the magic and chemistry with Brooke’s character would sustain in the long run. The impact of the Callie/Erica relationship will be felt and played out in a story for Callie. I believe it belittles the relationship to simply replace Erica with “another lesbian.”

Lesbian Columnist Dead In Florida Murder-Suicide

Carol Anne Burger (pictured), 57, an openly lesbian columnist for The Huffington Post, murdered her ex-partner by stabbing her 222 times with a screwdriver and then committed suicide by shooting herself in the head last week.

The victim, Jessica Kalish, who shared a house with Burger despite breaking up with her more than a year ago, was found last Thursday stuffed in the backseat of her gun-metal BMW sedan, abandoned behind a medical office in Boynton Beach, Florida. Her blood was splashed around the rear end and undercarriage of the car, as if her killer had tried to load her into the trunk. The driver-side window was shattered.

Stab wounds were clustered around the back of her head and stitched across her back and arms and face. Most were between an inch and an inch-and-a-half deep. A blow to Kalish's neck probably killed her, investigators determined. At a news conference Wednesday, police laid out what they'd learned during a week of investigation. They said the evidence pointed to one conclusion: Burger killed Kalish, a 56-year-old software executive whom friends described as worldly and intelligent, and then tried to throw investigators off her trail.

Burger, an award-winning photojournalist and former editor, was very excited to be writing about the presidential election and covered a wide range of stories including early voting in Florida, a summit on green jobs with Barack Obama and swing-state governors and a Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation event.

Obama Wins

On November 4 Americans watched Barack Obama become elected the first African American president in US history. Gays and lesbians have reason to celebrate, as Obama's policies are more friendly to gays than John McCain. In his victory speech, the Illinois senator mentioned gays and lesbians and his belief that US citizens should look after themselves and each other.

However, gays and lesbians weren't quite so lucky with anti-gay initiatives in four states. Act one prevents any unmarried couple, gay or straight, from becoming an adoptive or foster parent. Proposition 102 was passed in Arizona stating that "Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state." Amendment 2 was passed in Florida, which makes marriage only legal between one man and one woman, and in heartbreaking news for California’s LGBT activists, Gay-rights advocates vowed to press on for same-sex marriages after California voters dealt them a stunning setback by approving a ban on such unions.

The constitutional amendment will limit marriage to heterosexual couples, the first time such a vote has taken place in a state where gay unions are legal.

It overturns a recent state Supreme Court decision that gave gay couples the right to wed just months ago.

"We pick ourselves up and trudge on," Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, said early Wednesday when it appeared Proposition 8 was headed for passage. "There has been enormous movement in favor of full equality in eight short years. That is the direction this is heading, and if it's not today or it's not tomorrow, it will be soon."

Photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images

Larger Than Life - Meet Lea DeLaria

This will be easy, I thought. Having interviewed Lea DeLaria twice before, I knew that all I had to do was get her going and let the tape roll. DeLaria, who tours Australia this month with her jazz band and stand-up show, improvises wildly, crafting setups, punchlines and call backs like the seasoned comic that she is. And like the professional jazz musician that she also is, she riffs, swings and scats, creating her own edgy harmonies. It’s the word according to DeLaria, and it’s hard to get a word of your own in edgewise. Nevertheless, I had a few questions up my sleeve. For starters, what has she been doing in the decade since we last spoke?

“I don’t even know where those fucking years went,” she quips. “It’s like this runaway freight train, my career.” Indeed. Since her successful show Muff Diva, she’s done Broadway, TV, films, and recorded several jazz albums. “I haven’t looked back since.”

DeLaria has a big mouth, which is indispensable for a performer of her ilk. But sometimes it gets her into trouble. “In the last few years I found myself in a lot of trouble for making political statements about the Bush administration. I’ve pissed off a lot of people in the queer community as well because I think we’ve become complacent idiots.”

Her opinion on gay marriage is a case in point. “If you want to get married, you go out and do it. Good for you. Get a priest, get a rabbi, go for it. I don’t want to be told I can’t get married just because I’m gay. But whether or not that becomes the main focus of what we should be fighting for when queers are still being beat up and killed and murdered on the street and kicked out of their families and ostracized teenagers are committing suicide I’m not so sure.” All of this she says without drawing a breath. “That’s the short answer, not the funny one,” she adds.

For the complete article, please visit www.lotl.com

A Lesbian Theme for Queen Latifah?

Rapper and actress Queen Latifah considered calling her new album The L Word, to mess with everyone who has speculated with her sexuality. Although the temptation was strong, she decided against the title in the end, preferring to not bring more attention to her personal life. "Since people want to play games, I like to jab back sometimes just for fun, but I'm like, 'Nah, that's too much energy wasted.'" We'll have to wait until the album is released in December to see what title she decided on.