From A Reader: How far is too far?

"How far is too far?" seems to be the question I have been asking myself a lot lately. I’ve never been one to get involved in rallying for gay rights, or anything at all really. This is not to say that I’m not passionate about my beliefs, believe me. I have no fear making my thoughts and feelings known if I feel someone is over stepping the mark or saying something that I do not agree with. At the same time I can accept that as individuals we all have our own opinions and these can often clash. I accept that not everyone thinks the same as me. Here is where I usually become more interested and inquisitive about their views rather than argumentative - it’s these attributes that are making me question my approach.

I’m down with people calling me a “big lez” or saying things about “my clan” as someone recently put it. I’m even fine when straight friends or people around me use the phrase “oh that’s so gay”. At least I was. Is that ok? I’m not sure I think it is. If I said “oh that’s so black” I very much doubt it would be allowed to continue! This is where we get to the crux of the matter. Should I be laughing along when people say something is “so gay” or should I be expressing my disdain? Or is that going too far by not allowing people to use that in jest, especially when I know the person isn’t using it as a negative connotation? I somehow sense that it’s giving an unhelpful hand when it comes to school children using the phrase to talk about something they feel is un-cool. If we allow this what else are we allowing? At the same time I sometimes get very annoyed at being bound by being politically correct. Not being able to say “blackboard” in schools is surely going WAY too far.

I’ve also noticed something else significant happening recently that I feel mixed about; gay people being the butt of many jokes on television, in the media as well as on the big screen. While some of it will hopefully bring homophobia into the limelight for us to see how ridiculous some people’s views are, I just also wonder if we are accepting this all too graciously. Are we creating an environment where it’s ok to laugh at someone because they are gay or are we laughing at people’s small minded prejudice? Will everyone see the point or miss it altogether?

I recently watched Milk and have been following the activities surrounding gay marriage in the USA. Not sure if it’s my age or the points I mentioned above but I can’t help but feel like its time I started making my own waves to help the cause. I just need to decide what will help and what will take things too far!